I have demons in me.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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