I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
