I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
