She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
