He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
