she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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