omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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