are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
