I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
