eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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