Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
