walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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