Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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