Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
