I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize