You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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