some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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