Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize