see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
