I wanna passion pit in your ass
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We left an ass print on the piano.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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