I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
