dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
my being single is dangerous.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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