i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
