VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I currently don't understand fingers.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize