I'm eating all of the evidence.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
