I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
