protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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