you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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