The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize