i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
ugly people sure do ruin things
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We left the knife in your bed.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
