My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Randomize
