Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize