Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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