we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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