Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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