I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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