I think i peed on brittanys purse
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
