Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
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