I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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