I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
