Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
