my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
