There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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