I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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