hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
