There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
