He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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