I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You need Xanax blowdarts
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
