Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
