So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize