I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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