problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
In America we eat man semen.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
