playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
