3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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