Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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