peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
