chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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