I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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