butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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