It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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