Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize