I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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