I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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