i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
