I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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