One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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