ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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