You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize