I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize