I didn't shave. On purpose
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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