Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
